Nonsensoria

CW: Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse,  Sexual Imagery/Sexualization, Suicide, Needles, Physical Restraint, Involuntary Hospitalization, Body Horror.  This Content Warning also applies to the description below.  

Nonsensoria is very small piece of writing I wrote during a recent psychotic break.  It concerns the story of bell, who hangs beneath a great tree, and the beautiful clangs she makes when her head is struck.  

It's also about a hospitalization I recently had for having a meltdown at work, and navigating it while psychotic.  I felt like I was finally finding my footing and everything collapsed at once.  It felt like my very heart died on the vine that day.

Nonsensoria is kind of an alternative history - to rewrite what happened into something I can live with and be proud of.   To plant a small sapling amidst a field of flowers.  

It might just be nonsense, ultimately - I'm never sure if anything I write when psychotic will mean anything to anyone else.  But I hope you can trace the roots and take in its sensorium, and get something from it.  

I'm hoping someday I can turn this into a zine or something, but for now - please forgive the lack of graphics!  

-Sunshine Darling (Formerly Ashes McAlister)